June 17, 2018
“Being a father is the hardest but most rewarding journey I’ve ever been on.” - Wayne Wallace, Executive Advisor to the COO
Growing up on the rez with two wonderful, engaged and loving parents, plus two brothers, aunties, uncles, lots of cousins and friends to play with, I often daydreamed about my future. I’d see myself graduating, going off to university, meeting the girl of my dreams, getting married, and – always – becoming a father. I wanted to be like my father, who always loved having us kids around (and now, loves being with his seven grandkids). Each time I imagined my future, kids were always part of the picture; however, this almost didn’t happen for me. You see, when I was about 24, I acknowledged that I am two-spirited. Instantly, the first thought in my head was, “I’ll never have kids.” Back then, it seemed to me that there weren’t many gay men with kids -- unless they had kids prior to coming out. So for almost two decades, I stored that desire far in the back of my mind, thinking it could not become a reality for me– until five years ago.
After a few years of marriage, and many discussions about the possibility of having kids, my husband and I heard from a softball buddy about his successful experience with the process of surrogacy. After conducting much research, we contacted a surrogacy clinic in the US. Following that initial call, our process moved at lightning speed. Within a month, we had identified our donor and shortly after that, we were matched with our surrogate. In May, our embryos were created and implanted into our surrogate (on my birthday of all days), and within days our pregnancy was confirmed. On December 24, 2013, we welcomed our beautiful sons Jaxon and Logan!
Being a father is the hardest but most rewarding journey I’ve ever been on. Our kids bring so much joy into our home and to re-discover the world through their eyes is something special. I feel blessed to be their “papa” as they continue to enrich my life, and I can only hope I’ll be as good of a father to my boys as my dad was and is to me. Happy Father’s day to everyone – especially my dad, husband and brothers.
Next: more FNHA fathers’ stories!